What the ?

I learned something about myself here at PNN:  I'm a swearing snob.  It was a complete epiphany to me and it affects how I develop a relationship with some of the rest of you.  What I've learned is simple:  I have almost a zero respect level for the written out swear word.

Now understand that I am the ONLY person in our family that swears out loud, and only when I'm seriously frustrated.  There's a reason that I call Hubby "The Man Who Puts Up with Me" and one of those reason is my once in a while swear word.  He, on the other hand, swears so rarely that when he does, it totally shocks all of us.  Not bad for an ex-Marine.

Over the years we find that if there are more than a dozen swear words in the first ten minutes of a movie, we both wrinkle our noses and turn it off.  Hollywood never has a chance with us.  Comedians have no chance with us if they have a sewer mouth, and we are often disappointed that people like Buddy Hacket or Bill Cosby were folks we couldn't listen to because of their mouth.

Yet I tolerate a dear friend who uses swear words every other minute when the kids aren't around.  God love her, she's an amazing person.  Why do I tolerate it from some and not from othes?

But PNN is different.  Here I'm a big Freedom of Speech advocate. I started out exceptionally careful to write a "G" rated blog because The Man Who Puts Up With Me and my kids are my readers.  Yet there are some bloggers that use so many swear words that I'll never visit their site again. I lay in bed this morning wondering why I have a different tolerance for the spoken versus the written word.

I learned that I truly am a person that runs from the neck to the groin.  I'm more emotion/feeling on a moment to moment basis, saving my intellectual processes for quiter, more thoughtful times.   When I write, I can step back and choose my words more carefully.  I can choose to use something like, "What the F---?" instead of the word.  A playwright I know uses more creative ways of not quite writing that word than anyone I've ever met.  Writing gives me the chance to be more in control of myself.

I was sad to realize that my almost zero tolerance keeps me from learning new ideas, new perspectives.  Then I' learned to accept that, too.  I have no desire to learn what bile, vomit or crap tastes like either, so maybe a bottom level is a good thing.

What I can't get past is the sense of shame I sometimes feel about this topic.  The other day I visited White Owl's site and found a sharp old chap with whom I could whet my debating skills. But first I had to suffer through a series of awful comments which used such terrible language that I was embarrassed by my generation.  Had they no more restraint, no more mental ability?

And I feel shame when young people use bad language around older folks.  I feel for the parents who tried to raise them, feel for the apes they must be to not understand they don't need to shock the world.  And I cringe when I hear an American swear in front of foreigners.  We are already thought of as "The Ugly American" to so many in the world.  Foul language makes it true somehow.

Swear words are like pepper.  Use a little, and they punctuate a thought or idea and make it forceful.  Use a lot, and they foul the food.  How sad that I will miss some people's blogs.  What a shame, so sensless and avoidable.